Boulder EMDR Insight: When a Memory Doesn’t Feel Like the Past

Some memories come softly.

A scent, a sound, a brief image… and then they pass.

You remember, and you move on.

But trauma doesn’t always work like that.

For many people, remembering isn’t soft.
It’s not distant.
It’s not even in the past.

It’s right here.
In the body.
In the breath.
In the heart racing for a danger that’s no longer there.

And that’s not your fault.

The Difference Between Remembering and Reliving

To remember is to reflect.
To recall something that happened, and know it’s no longer happening.

To relive is different.

When trauma lives in the nervous system, a smell or sound—or even a thought—can flood the body with sensation.
Suddenly you’re not remembering.
You’re back there.
Your chest tightens.
Your stomach turns.
Your mind races or goes blank.

You might even feel numb—frozen in a body that doesn’t feel like yours.

This is not weakness.
This is your brain doing its best to protect you.

Why the Body Holds On

When something overwhelming happens, your brain doesn't always file it away as "past."

The part of your brain that sounds the alarm—the amygdala—goes into high alert.
The part that tells time—the hippocampus—struggles to sort what’s happening.

And so the experience doesn’t get stored like a normal memory.

It gets stuck.
Fragmented.
Unfinished.

Which is why the smallest trigger can feel like a threat.
The story isn’t just remembered—it’s re-activated.
And your nervous system responds as if it’s all happening again.

But it isn’t.

You survived it.
And now, you get to process it differently.

Shame Is Not the Answer—Compassion Is

If you’ve ever told yourself:

• “I should be over this.”

• “Why can’t I move on?”

• “What’s wrong with me?”

Pause.
Breathe.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not stuck because you’re broken.
You’re stuck because the trauma didn’t get the support it needed at the time.

That’s not a character flaw.
That’s a wound.
And wounds deserve care—not criticism.

How EMDR Helps the Brain Heal

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) isn’t about erasing memories.
It’s about helping the brain finish what it couldn’t finish before.

Through gentle bilateral stimulation—eye movements, taps, or sounds—we guide the nervous system to reprocess the traumatic material.

Not by talking it to death.
Not by forcing a release.

But by meeting the memory with safety.
And giving the brain what it needed all along:
A chance to file it away.
A chance to breathe again.

Over time, that flashback becomes a memory.
Not a trigger.
Not a flood.
Just a part of the past.

You Deserve to Remember Without Reliving

If you’re tired of feeling hijacked by the past, there is support.

With Boulder EMDR Intensives, we go at your pace—working gently, deeply, and somatically to help you shift from reliving to remembering.

You don’t have to do it alone.
And you don’t have to keep feeling like you’re back there.

The Memory Stays—But the Pain Doesn’t Have To

If trauma has made your past feel like your present, I’d be honored to help you find relief.

Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or learn more about how this approach can support your healing.

You don’t have to keep telling the same story to feel better—
and you don’t have to be overwhelmed by your memories to move forward.