Three Choices of Trauma: Repeat, Repress, or Repair

There’s something in you that’s tired.
Tired of the patterns.
Tired of holding it all together.
Tired of pretending you're fine when something underneath is still aching.

And yet—you’ve made it here.
Which tells me there’s also something in you that still hopes.
Still reaches.
Still wants to feel different.

When trauma lives in the body, it doesn’t just haunt memories—it shapes your present.
It influences how you connect.
How you protect yourself.
How you love.
How you shut down.

But trauma isn’t your fault.
And the way you’ve learned to survive isn’t something you need to be ashamed of.

Still, when it’s time to heal… you often face three paths:
Repeat.
Repress.
Repair.

Repeating: When the Pain Keeps Playing Out

You might not even realize it’s happening.
The familiar dynamic. The same type of partner. The same feeling of being invisible, blamed, controlled, abandoned.

It’s not because you want to suffer.

It’s because your nervous system is trying—desperately—to resolve what never got resolved.

And sometimes, that means reenacting what’s familiar… hoping this time, it will end differently.

But it usually doesn’t.
Because what needs to change isn’t the circumstance—it’s what’s stuck beneath it.

Recognizing this isn’t weakness.
It’s the beginning of wisdom.

Repressing: When It’s Safer to Feel Nothing

Maybe you’ve gotten really good at pushing it down.
Smiling when you're hurting.
Performing when you're unraveling inside.

You learned to be functional.
To stay in control.
To lock the door on what felt too overwhelming to feel.

And yet—those feelings don’t disappear.
They go quiet.
They twist into anxiety.
They settle into your muscles, your sleep, your relationships.

You’re not wrong for needing to forget.
You were surviving.
But surviving isn’t the same as living.

Repairing: The Courage to Heal What’s Hidden

Repair takes time.
It takes support.
It takes a different kind of strength—the kind that sits with pain instead of running from it.

Repairing doesn’t mean reliving it all.
It means returning, with kindness, to the places inside that were left alone.

In my work with women using Somatic EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and Deep Brain Reorienting, repair often looks like:

• Letting the body speak where words fall short

• Creating safety before digging deep

• Softening the charge around memories that once felt unbearable

• Finding the parts of you that never stopped protecting—and letting them rest

You don’t have to erase your story to change how it lives in you.
You don’t have to keep carrying it alone.

And you don’t have to keep choosing patterns that hurt just because they’re familiar.

The Healing Choice Is Still Available

If you’ve been stuck in repetition… or learned to repress just to get by… it’s OK. That’s how your system kept you here.

But you don’t have to stay there.

Healing is possible.
Safety is possible.
Repair is possible.

And it begins with a small, quiet yes.

What If You’re Not Broken—Just Ready?

If you’re ready to stop cycling through the same pain and start creating a new way of being, I’m here to support you.

Through Boulder EMDR Intensives, we’ll work gently and deeply with the trauma—not to relive it, but to release it. To rewire the nervous system and make space for peace, clarity, and restoration.

Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or learn more about how this approach can support your healing.

You don’t have to do it alone—
and you don’t have to keep telling the same story to feel better.